Narratives

"It's a million little things" Participant 407

Responses are unedited for authenticity.

Participant # in bold.

I was told "don't be like 'that other resident' and get pregnant again during residency"

Unfortunately I have too many stories to share experienced mainly during my second pregnancy. When I first told the anesthesiology clinical coordinators I was pregnant at 6 weeks I requested not to be placed in operating rooms with radiation exposure. However the following weeks I was repeatedly placed in those rooms. Every day I requested a schedule change and initially the requests were granted. However soon after I was told that I am hysterical and causing detrimental damage to my anesthesia education by not performing the anesthesia for those surgical cases that required radiation. I was met with a lot of pushback from the coordinators about switching my assignments and found that I was placed in radiation rooms more often than not because "I was the best resident for the case", which was not true. It started to cause me anxiety every night when I would check the schedule and at its worst I argued for over an hour one night with the coordinator over an assignment. He proceeded to publicly shame me the next day in our anesthesia lounge to fellow colleagues instead of discussing his issues with me privately. A second clinical coordinator called me dumb and ignorant when I did not want to take care of a patient with a multidrug resistant organism because they felt the patient had been treated on antibiotics long enough to have cleared the infection however follow up cultures were never attained to confirm such. I then asked for full protective gear and was laughed at. This same coordinator then refused to dismiss me from the OR after I had experience a near syncopal episode while working. He told me I looked great and asked if I had just eaten lunch. I told him I had chest pain from my heart beating so fast and that my OB was expecting me at L&D for evaluation. He then proceeded to tell me I had to find my own relief. When I went to L&D my blood pressure was 80/50mmHg. Thankfully baby was ok. The next day I called out of work however was scheduled to be on call the day after. At 10AM I was bombarded with messages from such coordinator asking if I was well enough to return to work the next day. Having just started my day, it was impossible to say and the messages continued until I gave an answer.

The pressure to take as little time as possible for maternity leave is real. 6-8 weeks is so little when you're still reeling from postpartum changes and adapting to having a new child, in addition to the obvious concerns of separating so soon from a small child and entrusting them to others for daily care (especially with the long work hours). Lactation in the workplace is hard. There is not enough time to properly pump, not enough space with appropriate storage, and the overall stress (including the limited time) impedes adequate lactation. So you now not only aren't you there to care for your child most of the day but you can not even provide enough breastmilk. Longer maternity leave should not only be encouraged but expected and readily available.

was asked on a fellowship interview (by a female program director) if I was planning on having children in the next 5 years

I had both of my children as a medical student. During my second pregnancy, I met with the department chair of the specialty I was applying to for residency and told him I was currently pregnant. He said that I still needed to perform as if I was not pregnant. If I was sick or felt unwell, I needed to hide it, because "every day is an interview". He said something about not showing weakness. I think working/studying/applying full time like every one else while pregnant, recently postpartum, or lactating shows extreme strength and resilience- not weakness. I felt judged and chastised by this interaction.

I think expectations postpartum were most difficult for me. Returning to work 7 weeks after my first baby and being expected to perform at the same level - physical, intellectual, emotional - was incredibly straining. At the time, I thought it was fine. I can do this. And I did. But looking back, I realize how vulnerable, unfair, ridiculous all of that was. My attendings gave me a hard time for not knowing all the right answers and I got terrible evaluations following my first baby. So bad, that I actually jumped shipped and decided to switch specialties. There are all these impossible hashtags for doctor moms that perpetuate the belief that being strong and doing totally outrageous things postpartum is superior. While sure some of these may be empowering I think they also feed into the maternal discrimination machine. Now, I realize that post-baby I am not gonna be 110%, no even 100%. Actually, more like 60-70% is ok with me. I am not as hard on myself and just ignore the outside rhetoric. But I know it is still there.

being put into cases with radiation, fluoro, a lot of sevo/nitrous inductions

I had a female co-resident tell my other co-residents that my 8 week "vacation" was BS and that she wanted one too. I was also told that it was "my decision" to have kids in residency and I should not expect special treatment or flexibility because I could've waited if I wanted to. I was verbally harassed by another resident for missing a day of work because my child was very sick and I couldn't get child care. I was emailed multiple times during maternity leave with tasks, things to do, etc even though I was on leave. I pump in patient rooms instead of in a lactation room. In one of the buildings I was in, I was told that there is one lactation room in the entire hospital, which is completely opposite of where my clinic is. I do not have time to go to that room as I do not have pumping breaks. My pumping happens during my lunch time (if I get a lunch break and patients aren't overbooked). The majority of the time, I am pumping, eating lunch and writing notes all at the same time.

paternal discrimination

Program director put me on remediation for scoring low on the intraining exam and created inordinate pressure on me that my other male and non mother female colleagues experienced. The program director is a female who has never had children due to an early menopause. She always treat female residents with children worse than male residents. I have also been singled out for my appearance including height, clothing etc.

My residency requires us to make up all the leave we take but for the make up time we are restricted in the rotations we can do to make it up. We are forced to work long hours on the hardest rotation and take more call during maternity leave makeup. This has been brought up to the higher ups in the program and they state that it's the only fair way since we "took extra time off". They will not allow you to do elective rotations or schedule rotations you are interested in even though that's the time you missed over maternity leave

I want this to remain anonymous....

With my first child, there were 2 other residents who just had young kids and were pumping/nursing as well. I think my chairman in his own male way made a real effort to help support us - he offered his office for us to lock and use to pump when there wasn't enough room in the official "lactation room" (kinda awkward but a nice gesture). The residency program made sure to offer a lactation room to pump at our main clinic but at other clinics I had to pump in the clinic rooms or honestly didn't pump during clinic and tried to make it to my car/home. I felt it very hard to ask my attendings if it was okay to pump during clinic hours and was at times made to feel like I wasn't "carrying my load" when I left to pump. I would feel guilty having to pump so I just wouldn't sometimes.

During this current and 2nd pregnancy, I have for the most part supported by attendings and residents and am lucky that my program will give me what I think is long leave of a little short of 6 weeks however compared to friends outside of medicine this is barely a leave. A particular resident has made passive aggressive comments about my pregnancy and me taking a 2nd maternity leave (because I get an extra 2 weeks off this year). She constantly mentions how it affects her when I get to take extra time off and she will have to cover my shifts. She is single without children and I feel like she doesn't understand.

Just a general feeling that I am not focused because I've had kids in residency. Attendings have said "I could never have had kids in residency because I had to work and study so hard all the time. You're such a good mom" It's like a back-handed compliment. I choose to have kids in residency and this is the reality. Residency is a difficult hard time even without kids. I wouldn't change it though - they are the best things I could have ever done but it hasn't been easy.

Was told (before knowing I was pregnant) by my male boss that it's irresponsible for women to get pregnant during fellowship. I'm terrified to disclose my pregnancy.

My story primarily focuses on feeling forced to always stand up for myself and my need to pump as a breastfeeding mom during active patient care. It was hard. I always felt judged and guilty for taking that 15-20 min "break". Rarely did attendings ever remember I had a newborn and needed to pump. It took several months (I.e. almost a year!) before I had the courage to just stand up and say, "I need to pump. I'll be back in 15". It's awkward being "that person" who leaves a group, but it was 110% worth it, because I was advocating for my child.

I've also had attendings casually mention, "don't get pregnant again", the schedule always gets so confusing when a resident has to go on maternity leave... enough said.

Hi! Thanks for putting this together. Some examples of how I have faced maternal discrimination:

1. I gave birth during my intern and was only allowed to take three weeks off as maternity leave. Only 1/3 weeks was paid leave. The other were unpaid leave.

2. When I came back, I was told by a senior resident "how nice it must be to take a vacation so early during intern year."

3. When I expressed interest in becoming a chief resident, I was told that I am not a good resident candidate as I am too many family obligations.

The list goes on...

One of the moments that most marked me during my journey was hearing from a labor and delivery nurse/employee that I shouldn't pump In the breaking room as it was "anti-hygienic, I occupied space and it was inappropriate". We are a lactation friendly facility! That broke my heart! But I went straight to the obstetric chief and complained. I gained a lot of support from it and was told by her that I could pump anywhere I desired from there on!

I started residency 8 weeks postpartum. I had an established milk supply, rather I was an over producer, and needed to pump ever 3 hours. Shortly after starting, due to hours, lack of coverage by coresidents and attendings, sleep deprivation, irregular eating schedules, my milk supply diminished significant and eventually stopped pumping/BF at 7 months with my goal of getting to 1 year. I feel like this actually significantly impacted my bonding with my son. In addition, while asked many times (he's now 20 months) if I'm interested in having another kid, several attendings have said I shouldn't. That I should focus on my career and wait to have a second kid until after residency. This is tempting as I have missed out on many family moments but I'm older and envisioned my kids being 3-4years apart.

No private space to breastfeed

Was told that the problem I took to admin was due to me being emotional

Taken off of projects because "you need to stay home"

Opportunity for global health rotation taken away

Was told by white male attending that 5 min was adequate time to pump

I have experienced pressure to time my future pregnancies around work schedules/events and discouraged from getting pregnant during training. More so I have noticed that my pregnant and/or parenting colleagues have been discriminated against (and at times I feel I have contributed to that discrimination) including harassment regarding taking time off for child care, taking time off for maternity leave, taking time off for doctor's appointments, etc.

I am a PGY4 fellow. I have a constant daily concern that having a baby will negatively affect my career. I worry that I will not have coverage during my maternity leave and my co-residents and fellows will suffer. I worry this will delay my graduation. And I worry pregnancy will force me to push my fellowship to be completed later down the road. I work within the field of pediatrics and still have these concerns.

A fellow coworker/resident had announced her pregnancy. She chose to do so a few months later as you know, a lot of the times first trimester losses may occur...due to this, she had to have her schedule rearranged because she would've ended up delivering during her inpatient month-which was not allowed. I kindly offered to switch around my schedule for her. a week later we received an email from the program stating that if we were "planning on having a baby" we should inform the program "ahead of time" so that changes to the schedule can be made "way in advance." This is a little unnerving as I wasn't aware I had to tell the program of my desires to start a family-I think this is something private a husband and wife should only be discussing. This definitely makes me nervous regarding wanting to start a family during residency as I don't want to be seen as a burden to the schedule.

105

Do not feel resident schedule would allow for safe pregnancy, ability to take care of child post partum.

111

My academic hospital was incredibly supportive of my needs as a pregnant resident and new mother. However, we rotate at a community hospital where all the new mothers pump in a shower stall with a power cord pulled across the floor for electricity. This is inappropriate and was the reason that I ended up stopping breast feeding early.

120

I had very little support at my medical school during pregnancy. There was NO maternity leave policy despite previous students having been pregnant. In the past, they all used their 4 weeks of vacation for their residency interviews and maternity leave, which seemed crazy to me. I didn't hear this firsthand, but one of my professors (who supported me tremendously) overhead the dean, as he was denying a proposal I had written for a parent-child elective, say, "if medical students don't want to have stressful schedules, they shouldn't get pregnant". I think I was gaslit during that time, mostly by older white men but most disappointingly, by women too. They insinuated that because other women had been through pregnancy with no time off, it was completely fine and I should be okay with that too, despite overwhelming validated medical evidence of the contrary. They said if I had a problem with it I should take a year off.

I also struggled a lot to find places to pump. Specifically, during the NBME board exams - during step 1 I pumped in my car behind a dumpster. By the end of the exam I had leaked through my shirt. The weirdest place I've pumped is in a supply closet in a group home.

Another difficult part of parenthood in training is that I have had to ASK for everything. Even though most people know I'm a mother, and have responsibilities outside of medicine, I had to ASK to have time off for prenatal care, I had to ASK to have time to pump, I had to ASK to schedule appointments for my kids. It's tiring for the responsibility to always be on me. Another hard thing is that motherhood, parenthood, is not really lifted up as a positive thing. A mother who prioritizes her family at least as much as her career during training is never going to be nominated for a 'resident of the year' award or something of the like. I don't do a ton of research outside of my program, I don't attend every extracurricular activity. But that's because I'm at home, working on developmental milestones with a toddler. I'm at the lactation consultant working on nursing a baby. I'm at a playdate, learning firsthand about the concerns other mothers struggle with. These things have deeply informed my practice and have helped me become a superior maternity and pediatric provider, which essentially goes unrecognized. I'm okay with that on some level, this is the life I have chosen, but it feels thankless (like a lot of things in motherhood!).

On the converse - the best experiences I have had are with female professors who have gone above and beyond to facilitate my mothering and training co-existing peacefully. I had an OB/gyn professor in med school, and then my program director in residency. My PD sat me down at the beginning of my pregnancy and said, "what do you need?", which helped me feel really supported.

121

According to the board of pathology residents can not take more than 4 weeks off in a given year and if they do; they would have to make up for the time lost by extending their residency. This limits the maternity leave to 4 weeks which may not be enough time for recovery after delivery especially if the mother experiences complications or has a cesarean section. All of this puts enormous pressure on the resident in trying to juggle work and home responsibilities.

123

I was given extra call after taking time off for maternity leave and was told that it was a consequence of taking time off.

125

Inability to pump at work and when I would request to go pump I was told I could not. In-flexible schedule to allow time to adequately pump. At a military job, I was reprimanded for needing time during clinic schedule to pump and to pick up my child when he was sick from school. Both my husband and I are doctors, we are both under a lot of pressure with parenting and not letting it get in the way of our jobs/ training.

There is a lack of understanding from my co-residents about how difficult it is to juggle parenthood and residency. I feel that I am looked poorly upon when I need to leave in the evenings after working 9-10 hr days, to try to get home to pick up my kids from daycare before it closes. I do not have the ability to work all day and late into the evening because I have responsibilities at home. Being military, we have no family support remotely nearby to help us with our kids and their care, so it entirely falls upon us (and mostly me- since I am the mom and gender norms are still an issue).

When I had my first child in medical school, my husband (also in medical school with me) did not receive any paternity leave and I was left to figure out how to care for an infant for the first time without any family support near me or spouse support. I suffered post-partum depression and it took a long time to fully recover. I felt like I missed out on enjoying being a parent for the first time because of the depression that was a result of having no support.

When I was working in the military, I was verbally harassed daily about being a mother and needing to always "pick up my children before they turn into pumpkins" late in the evening. I was reprimanded for not being able to be into work at 630am on a last minute notice because my kid's daycare did not open until 630am and I had no time to prepare to find a last minute care-giver. I was denied days off because I had already used maternity leave and they considered that "vacation time."

131

I experienced lack of support during pregnancy when my requests to modify my call schedule during my last few weeks of pregnancy were denied. I received work emails during maternity leave that expected a response and it was suggested that I attend research duties and work on manuscripts during maternity leave. Maternity leave did not seem to be recognized and valued as protected family time even within a pediatric subspecialty fellowship. Once I returned to work, there was inability to pump adequately during work for example during rounds or clinic.

132

It was frowned upon to pump during my inpatient month. I had to pump once a day for 15minutes due to lack of time. I also pumped in a storage room standing up.

136

I am already working more hours than I should. I have child care responsibility so can not stay outside of my duty hour indefinitely. Other trainees in my program regularly also have to work a lot of extra hours. My program director told me to not make people feel like I have privilege to not work as many extra hours because I am a mother, but in the meanwhile I did not get any support to cover needs for child care.

137

I had my first child as an intern. I heard that some of my senior co-residents thought I should have "waited my turn". Many attendings assumed this was an accidental pregnancy (though it was IVF and very planned), as no one should willingly choose to have a child as an intern. I was hospitalized for preterm labor, which cut into my maternity leave, and was only able to take 5 weeks off. When I returned to work, I was told by a fellow that I wasn't allowed to pump because I needed to be available whenever he needed me and couldn't be off pumping. One of the clinic nurses told me I should probably quit residency because I obviously couldn't handle the stress of both motherhood and residency.

145

My husband and I do not have, and do not plan on having children. I am currently searching for a job, and a question that I have been asked every time is "are you married" and "do you have kids." I feel that this is generally well intentioned (to provide information about schools and potential jobs for my husband); however, every time I worry that my answer will elicit judgment or bias. I worry that they will assume I will become pregnant soon and may not be the best candidate to hire. I feel like I have to offer the personal information that I do not plan on having children to combat this, but then that also elicits judgment or bias. It also makes me think that I am glad I don't have to say yes to the children question because then I could be subjected to even worse bias. Although all of this is perceived, and may be thought of as worse case scenario in my head, I doubt that any man applying for a job has to consider these factors and worry about how to answer these questions.

152

Overall, I have had a very supportive and non-discriminatory environment for my training. I had my daughter during my transitional year as an intern and was able to work with my program for maternity leave. They provided lactation rooms and had a very supportive culture. Transitioning to my advanced program was difficult as there were no lactation spaces available in many clinics and I often found myself pumping in my car or a temporarily unoccupied patient room without a lock which was not ideal. The culture of the residents was also different with upper levels telling me about which areas were "no pump zones" completely unprompted. I attempted to set up a lactation room at one of our main clinic buildings but was told that the institution had plans for a lactation room in the future. More than 6 months has gone by since that conversation with no lactation room in sight. I think with larger institutions it is harder to accomplish certain projects as smaller projects like a lone lactation room probably get lost in big institution plans.

155

I was really enjoying breath feeding. However, when my residency started I felt obligated to stop. It wasn't like anyone told me to, but I simply couldn't find the time to pump, and a lot of time I was getting home so late that my son was already asleep and I couldn't nurse him before bedtime. I think about what I went through when he was a newborn, and I can't imagine doing that as a resident, esp without paid maternity leave.

157

when i discuss my desires to have children my co-residents beg me not to because they don't want to have more call to cover my absence postpartum

155

157

when i discuss my desires to have children my co-residents beg me not to because they don't want to have more call to cover my absence postpartum

173

I do not yet have children but have delayed the process of starting a family for a number of years due to concerns about the demanding schedule. Surprisingly, my program is one of the more supportive of residents starting families but I still have extreme internal feelings that I wouldn't be able to take time off if there was an unfortunate pregnancy complication, or able to leave work to care for a sick child because of the culture.

181

I am very lucky to be in a generally family friendly field, but even in this field and with the male:female ratio being nearly 50:50, I experienced discrimination. I applied for fellowship, and my ability to do this was nearly compromised due to maternity leave. Although I was offered "8 weeks" of maternity leave, I was told that if I took any days other than what I was allotted that year with vacation and sick days, that I would graduate late and not be able to complete fellowship. In the end, I took 4 weeks total. 3.5 weeks were my vacation and sick days of that year, and the 0.5 week was extra that I am having to make up by taking 2 extra weeks of call later on. During this negotiation, I was extremely distraught as I was a new mother and felt unprepared to be able to return to work fully functional. I honestly believe it was inhumane as biologically no mother is ready to return that quickly. Additionally, I should not have to sacrifice my career for this and opt not to do fellowship as my male colleagues do not have to make that decision. Other residents have taken up to 6 months off of clinical duties for research purposes on a separate track and were still able to graduate on time so I felt this limitation on my graduation ability was specifically in regards to my decision to have a child. If I could have had a child outside of residency I would have, but these are our most fertile years and I have numerous colleagues who are experiencing infertility issues due to deciding to wait until after training. In addition to this, I applied to a more male-dominated sub-specialty and have had to deal with many comments and listen to conversations between attendings and male fellows on how it is "inappropriate" for women to have children during training due to the strain it puts on their coresidents. This male fellow was one who took a full 6 weeks of paternity leave when his wife had a child during residency. In addition to this, I was given advice to hide the fact that I was a mother and not let anyone know that I was pumping on my fellowship interviews. This along with my minimal maternity leave led to a significantly decreased milk supply and in the end I was unable to breastfeed my child. Compounding that with the constant guilt and worry of not being a good enough mother, not being a good enough resident or applicant, not being a good enough wife it was intensely stressful. My very close friend who had a child during residency experienced nearly identical emotions. She ended up with post partum depression, and when she asked for time to meet with a counselor weekly, was asked if she could instead do phone appointments so as not to affect clinic time (she was asking to be 30mins late on Monday mornings for these apmts). Overall, I have had a positive experience during residency, did match into my top choice for fellowship, and learned a lot during this time. However, the trauma of the maternity experience has not left me. I plan on practicing in academic dermatology, but I vowed never to forget these emotions so I could change things for future female residents. Yes this is our education and our training time, but it is no excuse for inhumane treatments. It is in everyone's best interest that these smart and talented women in medicine reproduce to benefit society as a whole.

186

During my surgical rotation as a medical student, the surgical resident blatantly ignored me throughout the month. During lectures, he would not call on me, even when I knew answers others did not. It was if he placed me into a maternal category, one where my competence and commitment to medicine were questioned.

He did not treat other male or female medical students this way. I was eight months pregnant at the time.

188

-No space to pump at resident clinic. Had to sit in the floor of the supply room.

-Anesthesia staff once commented that he "did not realize" I was the resident on the case because I was "so pregnant."

-Classmate commenting to me that my being pregnant meant she would have to work more and that was a problem

191

Difficulty scheduling appointments, especially in beginning when you're not wanting to tell everyone you are pregnant.

Difficulty with scheduling kids appointments.

Other residents making remarks about the call schedule after you gave birth (I only took 20 days off, so I could graduate on time and be able to go into fellowship

192

I intentionally haven't had children during residency because I don't think I would be well-supported by my program. Historically, few residents have had children, and I've seen discrimination against a resident in my year who is currently pregnant. When she announced her pregnancy, it became clear that she would have to use her vacation time to count toward much of her maternity leave. The hospital-provided space for pumping is at the other end of the hospital and would be impossible for her to get to twice in a 9-hour (usually closer to 10 or 11) shift. She's one of our top clinicians, and I get the sense that she'll be overlooked for chief resident not because she withdrew her name from consideration but because of the perception that she won't want to, even though she's planning a career in academics and has significant family support from her husband and mother to help with childcare and other responsibilities. I simply don't want to have to bother with any of it.

194

I have had three children during my residency and fellowship, both at the same institution. Overall, I don't feel that my experience was blatantly malignant. But I did feel that shift in the way I was treated pre- to post-baby. Pre-baby, I was considered an enthusiastic and knowledgeable trainee. Post-baby, I rarely felt the respect afforded this type of trainee, although I don't feel that how I performed changed, save a bout following my first child where I experienced difficulty adjusting (but no major problems or incidents). I feel that parent trainees, specifically mothers, are seen, when facing new parenthood or parenting-related challenges, as experiencing an opportunity to prove oneself as a "super-parent." "Can you handle that and still be a good doctor? And if you slip, does that mean you're...'unsafe'?" I feel that there is no space to see or allow these trainees to be vulnerable, and to be open about common struggles of motherhood, without being "mommy-tracked."

196

On the whole, I have had a very positive pregnancy and postpartum experience while at work. A few important negatives however are worth mentioning: 1) I thought 9 weeks maternity leave was much more appropriate for healing physically, and for being at home with my new family. I received considerable push back at this suggestion, although it eventually was granted. However, while on maternity leave there was a scheduling mixup and the chief who made the schedule put me down for return a week early. I was then put in an uncomfortable position of being asked to return to work at the 8 week mark to be a good team player, "especially since I had already gotten more time than normal." I feel strongly that standards don't change unless we make them. However, I also need to be viewed as a good resident and one willing to help the team. So I came back earlier than planned. I used 1 week of vacation and will make 1 week up at the completion of training. 2) I have now been back at work for 5 months. My feet are under me much better now, although there's still a very steep learning curve. I often feel that when I am a little behind my colleagues, my attendings will excuse it as "well, she's been on maternity leave." I thus am not pushed as hard as the others. While I want the support for long maternity leaves, I also don't want to be viewed as sub-par or inferior because I am a mother and a doctor. I need to be just as good as anyone else and my absence should be acknowledged but not an ongoing excuse for any delayed performance. I know this is a tough line to walk, because of course my skills are behind given my absence, but I need to be encouraged to catch up and thrill just like my other classmates.

198

During my pregnancy, I was most surprised by the lack of understanding I experienced at the hands of my co residents, some of whole (thankfully a minority) seemed resentful on the few occasions I did not fully fulfill my call responsibilities due to pregnancy related health issues. This was in the context of my taking extra call up front to make up for what I would miss when on maternity leave. It occasionally seemed that my senior residents were harder on me than they had been before once they knew I was pregnant, as if they now felt I didn't take our field seriously because I had chosen to have a child during training, or as if they wanted to be sure I knew I wasn't going to get easier treatment because of my pregnancy. I had several attendings tell me, before they knew I was pregnant, that if I were serious about ophthalmology I would not consider having my second child in residency: after learning I was pregnant, several attendings changed their attitude toward me, making me feel as though they did not think I was as serious or intellectually curious as other residents because I was growing my family while training.

202

Had my child the week of orientation, and was therefore unable to attend PALS training. The graduate program medical director asked me to become certified prior to giving birth so that I would be ready to start once I returned from my 6 week leave. I certified, and then asked the hospital to reimburse me for the payment (all other residents did not pay for CPR/PALS/ACLS training. I was denied the reimbursement (came out to close to $1000). They stated that because I was not yet an employee, they could not pay for my certification.

203

I had a baby in residency and fellowship. Second pregnancy was harder and I began to feel lightheaded while operating around week 34. I was only scheduled to operate until week 36 (but continue working in the office until delivery). I told my program I didn't feel safe in the OR and the response was I was dehydrated, should drink more, etc. When I said that wasn't enough I was told that was a big deal and might affect graduation. It was literally 2 hours of case coverage that would have been affected and I felt threatened into operating when I had told them I didn't feel safe.

212

When applying for fellowship, I was made aware that specific program preceptors did not take females due to the risk of them becoming pregnant.

213

patient asked to walk around rounds WHILE pumping. not given opportunity to pump in privacy

216

offhand comments that I should not get pregnant during residency

230

Many comments at work about how i get "extra breaks" when pumping or how others wish they got "extra free time"

231

I would like to have a family have a lot of concern regarding timing. Specifically fear of conscious or subconscious bias from peers and faculty that may impact future career advancement (such as fellowship opportunities) if pregnant during residency. Also having to plan exact time periods when pregnancy can occur so that I would not be visibly pregnant for either fellowship or job interviews. Finally, fear of need to take maternity leave more than a few weeks that would jeopardize graduation from residency.

233

Upon return to residency I was told my very front loaded schedule and holiday schedule not being what I had requested was "due to being on maternity leave"

On some rotations I have had issues with time for pumping. I was told my clinic schedule was blocked however they only changed the appointment times and did not drop a patient so it is actually more stressful to have them all squished together at the end of the day.

237

Generally I have felt pretty well supported as a resident mother. I'm doing a combined program in family medicine and obstetrics, and I was lucky to have resident moms senior to me who set cultural norms for the programs - for example it became normal to pump during grand rounds or while in the work room. But it's not perfect- I've definitely had days where my only option was to pump in a public bathroom. And it's also generally tiring. When I come home from a 28 hour call shift, I have to be aware that my husband has been alone at home with our daughter for all that time. And on the rotations where I have a lighter work schedule, I feel like I have to do most of the child care in order to make up for the busy rotations. And I feel that I have not been given opportunities that I otherwise would have, like traveling to conferences, because I'm a mother.

242

Work load was actually increased. When I spoke up, I was told nothing could be done about it as volume was at a new high. There were no other support staff to step in, and no effort was made to find any.

252

I ultimately made the decision to stop breastfeeding after my supply tanked when I wasn't able to step away to pump. While there was no blatant verbal discrimination, the implications made by my co-residents and staff were clear that I was not completing my share of work because I had to step away to pump. On another instance: once a week, my husband works a 24-hr call shift and I have to go pick my daughter up from daycare (a 1 hr drive in rush hour), so I ask to leave 15 min early in order to get home, feed her, and get to to bed on time. I never leave before I'm dismissed, and if that means I stay late on those days, I'm ok with that. If my work is done, and I've been dismissed, I ask on those days only if I can leave. Apparently other residents felt that I wasn't pulling my weight and have been leaving early too frequently, and have since been put in my place. I clarified with them that the problem is not my work while at work, and I am keeping up with my class. The problem is that I leave 15 min early once a week. Under threat of "not being covered when I'm a fourth year when I need time to study because I left early in my second year", I've since been put in my place.

256

I had my child during my intern year. I was only given 2 weeks of my vacation time and then was put on night float immediately after. I have to keep up with high expectations and be compared to peers who never had kids. When my kid is sick and I am asking for a few hours to take him to urgent care, they ask to take a vacation day and we only have 20 vacation days a year. We do not have lactation rooms in the hospital- what I used is on call rooms.

257

259

Pressured to come back early from maternity leave. Was told I should come back a month early to "ease the transition" where I would be put on an easier but still fully scheduled rotation. When I said no, then I was asked to come back at least two weeks early to this easier rotation, again for my benefit in transitioning back into residency. I said no again, but then was pressured to then at least take a couple weekend call shifts and home health calls for pediatrics. This came directly from my program director. I said no again but I really lost faith in my PD after this experience. This was all framed in a "we're just trying to help you" sort of way, but then became a conversation of "well this is the least you can do to help your co -residents" when I was asked to take weekend call shifts and home health calls.

271

I was not able to eat during residency and pregnancy.

Attendings were complaining I was too slow during my third trimester of pregnancy.

Suffered retaliation.

Indirectly got bad written evaluations during pregnancy that never happened before or after.

Had a miscarriage but did not know because I did not have time to go to the dr. Even if you ask for a dr. app they need to know what for etc. No privacy .

Had a fall and hit my belly during the third because was rushing to go to clinic and not get in more trouble.

Please keep this anonymous.

275

I have had an attending who did not know I was pregnant at the time say that back when he was in residency anyone who had time to get pregnant was perceived as not working hard enough. This same attending also mentioned that there was one woman in his internal medicine residency program and everyone hated her because she always had take time off to care for her sick child.

On the flip side I have had 2 attendings who have formally complimented me in my rotation evaluations on my professionalism and ability to balance residency with a small child at home.

277

I was with an attending and despite informing him that I needed to pump he would never acknowledge this and frequently make demands of me during times I needed to go pump. He also treated me as if I was asking for special favors, he refused to let me go to a doctors appointment or make child-care appointments (I had to defer all this to my mom who could luckily help). I worked 10-12 hr days every day and yet he made it seem as if I wasn't doing enough. I forgot to put in indication for a medication in a discharge summary and he told me that I "probably wasn't ready to come back" from maternity leave and that I should consider going back on leave (at this point I was 6 months out from leave). He is the only person I had this experience with and otherwise for the most part attendings were helpful- especially the women who had been through it themselves.

280

I asked not to use an office space to pump as other people could hear the sound of the breast pump and it may make them feel uncomfortable. There was no dedicated lactation room

285

- it's difficult to keep up with the 80-90 hour work week and OR schedule as a pregnant resident.

- when I was close to term my team was very annoyed with me to have to pick up nights that I couldn't cover and were annoyed with me being physically slower than usual. It's hard to keep up with the physical demands of residency during first trimester (vomited 2-3x per day during the first 18 wks), and during third trimester as my baby got bigger.

- my baby was born 6 mo ago. I try to keep up with pumping but there is no protected time or place to pump. I pump on the way to work in the car, then here and there when I can find a few minutes. We have had to switch to formula with breast milk bc I can't keep up with what my baby needs.

- now that we have some other residents that are pregnant/postpartum, it is more socially acceptable to pump.

- when I was a medical student interviewing in surgery for residency at a hospital in Chicago I was asked very blatant questions about me being a surgery resident and asking if I wanted kids. He said "because we work very hard here and if you have children that interferes with productivity". I did not even rank that program.

- if my kids are sick or need help at home everything falls on my husband because of my job. He is very burnt out from child care because I am unable to help at home.

- I am extremely burn out being a surgery resident with two young kids (6 mo and 2 yes old). I was going to apply to Peds surgery (so I did research and a critical care fellowship in the middle of my training), but now I just want to finish training because it is too hard on me and my family. I have two years left. (PGY7 bc of my research and cc fellowship)

286

I pre-emptively know that I would be discriminated against and so I tried to hide my pregnancy for as long as possible and overworked myself so that my colleagues would not see me as a burden. I refused to be placed in the OR where there was radiation and they said that I was unable to take paid backup call. Understandable, but I realized that this decision was made after an attending complained about having to rearrange people to accommodate me.

289

While on an off-rotation at an academic center, there was significant lack of support of a pumping schedule resulting in cessation. At my home institution which is a community hospital, male and female staff and residents create a supportive environment. My home institution's FMLA and short-term disability programs are unavailable for interns, thereby necessitating a fully unpaid maternity leave.

311

I have had multiple attendings and coresidents tell me "residency is not the time to get pregnant". When discussing long cases and need for multiple breaks (due to lightheadedness/dizziness/fainting in the OR from lack of resources like water or food while scrubbed in) I was told "well there are women in Southeast Asia that work the fields until they are 9months pregnant, give birth, and then come back 2 days later to work the fields again". I have also been excluded from invitations to social activities (but not clear If that was intentional)

313

I was asked on an interview if I planned on getting pregnant within the next five years. I felt that this was extremely inappropriate at the time and then I did not move forward in the process of being hired and I believe it had something to do with me being a female of childbearing age that may or may not become pregnant within the next few years of my career

327

I started fellowship with a 4 month old. The primary problems that have come up are pumping time/space and lack of recognition of daycare hours/mandatory things scheduled in the evening.

Pumping wasn't a problem in return to work in my final year of residency- I never anticipated it would be such a problem as a fellow. There are few rooms allocated for this, and they are almost always full. None of them have computers, so if you want to continue to work, it's necessary to lug around a pump bag, cooler, and computer bag. I spoke to my GME office about this- they said call rooms with computers can't be used by fellows. I spoke to my PD about this- who referred me to the GME office. Ultimately, I spent lots of time in fellowship pumping in the car in the garage or hand pumping and dumping in the bathroom. I was asked by my PD 4 (four!) times if I was "still" breastfeeding- beginning when my child was 6 months old.

Regarding the evening scheduling- with a young child I was finding that it was emotionally challenging not to see my child every evening because of late patient care/activities scheduled in the evening. I was hoping that 1-2 nights per week, I might be able to count on doing daycare pickup before 6 and being able to see my child for 30mins to an hour before bedtime. I brought this up to my PD, who simply replied "Well, you're getting out of here by 7pm, aren't you?" There seems to be no sense in medicine that the rest of the world believes that that is non-standard work time and that this leaves your parter or a nanny (who can afford this in training?) doing pickup every day.

328

When I returned from maternity leave I had people ask how my "vacation" was or expect me to suddenly work more to make up for time that I missed. Many people told me how much time I should take off and that if I took more than 6 weeks I wouldn't be able to return and operate to the same level as before I left. I was criticized for using my elective rotations in order to have an easier schedule when I returned from my maternity leave. Several people suggested I switch to formula and not breastfeed my baby so I wouldn't have to pump or be up at night nursing. People compared my pregnancy to theirs and assumed I should have the same experiences they did with sleep schedules, pumping times etc. That being said, while the comments and suggestions are stressful and anxiety provoking, I have been allowed to pump when I need to and I generally feel supported by the staff and colleagues that control my schedule.

331

When I started my intern year I had a two year old and a four month old whom I was still nursing. At the time, I was the only female with children in my entire program. During one of my first rotations, my senior resident and fellow refused to allow me time to pump. The answer was always "after you do this consent" or "no, you need to go round with Dr. X first", etc. I had no seniors to go to to help support me, and no faculty I knew or trusted enough to go to to advocate for me. Eventually, as I was unable to pump regularly, I lost my milk supply and was therefore forced to stop nursing.

333

Did not have support on busy rotation to pump breastmilk. Consequently, was unable to maintain supply and lactation was ended prematurely.

Pumping rooms sparse, difficult to access, and frequently dirty

336

Prior to starting a rotation, explained to chief what was needed in order to pump. Chief informed rotation attendings and basically was told that no changes to the schedule could be done to block off time to pump. We basically had to deal with it and try to pump when we can even though we still had the same expectation to finish patients, go to supervision at the same times as non lactating residents. Was told by the attendings/ director (all men) that other people pumped on this schedule (unchanged) and was fine. Basically was told that our pumping frequency should be same as others and there is no reason to need to pump more frequently. Thus is not true for a fellow resident and who lost her supply and had to stop pumping/ breastfeeding because her supply dried up. I was really angry for her. Why did men get to dictate our pumping schedule?

337

I was told I could not have time during my full day of clinic at the VA to pump because staff physicians did not get time to pump either. I was told to come in early and pump before my 8am patient and then to pump over lunch (at which time they schedule our supervision, which we are not allowed to miss), and then at the end of the work day at 5:00pm. I told them that was not possible to go that long without pumping. I even addressed concern with program directed to which she said they had this problem in the past without resolution. I ended up having to stop pumping at 8 months because of the inflexibility. I am much bolder and more confident as a resident now and am expecting my second child. I will NOT be stopping early on their account.

338

Because I am a married female of child-bearing age, many of my co-workers and attendings assume that I want to have children and be a mother. They have made statements about me starting a family and questioned when I plan to have kids/how many children I want to have, etc. and often speak about how my career will be shaped by motherhood. I do not have any desire at this time to be a mother or have children and have chosen my profession because I desire a challenging career. My male peers don't seem to encounter these types of interactions as their reproductive status isn't discussed.

344

I have had a difficult time with pumping due to how busy the work days are.

During clinic days there are supposed to be breaks built into my schedule to allow for pumping but that rarely happens due to schedule being changed and patients not arriving on time.

Also when I was scheduling appointments for prenatal care I usually had to help finding cover for me.

351

I had my first child as a 4th year general surgery resident. At 9 weeks pregnant I started bleeding and was placed on temporary bedrest. Had to use vacation days to cover bedrest - and was still required to sit for ABSITE during this time. I took 4 weeks "vacation" and 4 weeks FMLA (which I was required to make up every day) for a total of 8 weeks off. No set structure to support breastfeeding and/or pumping. Very difficult to ask to leave long cases to pump. Was told I was being given "extra" time and not working as hard when I took time to pump. Had 2nd child during 5th year residency (18 months apart). Multiple comments made that clearly I had too much free time, wasn't working as hard as I should be, etc. Was told taking time off would hamper my career. I only took 4 weeks off w/ 2nd child in order to make up 4 weeks FMLA from 1st child and still be able to start fellowship on time. I was required to make up every day of 4 week FMLA. I worked at residency until the weekend before I started fellowship - meaning I only had the weekend off between residency and starting fellowship. Was told that I was the support system for my junior fellows and my taking "excessive amount of time off" negatively effected them. With both pregnancies I worked a full scheduled (including same amount of in house call covering multiple services) until the day I delivered (at 39 weeks). Since I used all of my "vacation" for delivery and post-partum I didn't have any additional time off for 2 years. I therefore had to schedule nearly all of my maternity appointments and child's healthcare appointments for my post-call days after I worked full 24 hours so that it didn't add on more days for me to make up.

353

excess coverage, service requirements prior to maternity leave in addition to additional presentations "to make up for maternity leave" even though all of the time missed was added to fellowship training.

370

Received comments that since I have a small child, its ok if I don't perform exceptional work.

371

Feeling like being a mother had to take a backseat to my career, otherwise I was perceived as not being "committed to the field"

378

Told many times I better not get pregnant and that it would be selfish if I did. Explicitly told not to get pregnant through the first two years of training. Told if not careful could delay graduation and affect fellowship opportunities.

383

My program has had a few residents have babies during residency. They have taken 6-8 weeks leave and graduated residency on time. I am now pregnant and am being treated differently. I'm being told that I need to graduate late to make up the time I'm missing on leave. I'm using my 2 weeks of vacation this year that I have left after interviewing for fellowship. I will be required to start my fellowship late if I graduate late, which directly impacts my career advancement. What fellowship director will be happy to have a fellow start late? It's making me consider taking a short leave which is unhealthy for me and the baby. We are in medicine: we know what's normal and healthy. And yet we don't support each other. There's no parental leave policy in my program, and I think treating me differently it's a huge discriminatory issue. I have already met my programs surgical and non surgical requirements. It is also a hardship since my husband is currently unemployed (he finished his degree and had to move to my city where I'm doing residency and is in limbo since we are moving for my fellowship in 6 months), and I won't get paid during my leave.

387

No concept of adequate maternity leave, complete lack of rest even just prior to delivery and post partum. You are expected to do the same amount of work as a no pregnant male colleague. You training is extended by the amount of time you take maternity leave which is unfair.

397

When I was pregnant as a student I was told to consider FM instead of IM to have more clinic time and not be in a ward intensive career. I never knew how to react to that comment.

400

As an IR resident I am expected to not care my baby was getting radiated daily. When I got a fetal dose (it was low but still), I asked for better fitting maternity lead. When I got that I asked for them to recheck my levels as I started doing a ton of hi dose cases again- which I continued to get push back from the radiation dept that the legal limit was so much higher so why check my fetal doses and them not wanting to check my dosimeter off the normal month long timeline. A month of radiating your baby without knowing is unacceptable. The later term fetus has a 15 times increased risk of childhood cancer from ANY radiation dose. In addition they would schedule me so that I was carrying 20 lbs of lead to multiple different floors and different hospital sites bc they only would purchase one maternity lead. My attendings would also constantly "forget" I was pregnant and would start fluoro while my belly was literally over the radiation source doing a procedure. I spoke up for myself multiple times, but it was expected of me to not care about the fetus and to do the procedures. I'm fine working 100 hrs a week till 40 weeks (I'm sure surgery does it too), but I did not expect to often feel ridiculed for just trying to keep my baby safe while doing cases. I was also told that I needed to schedule my prenatal OB appts on nights and weekends I'm off (do those exist???). As a high risk pregnancy with a history of cancer I also had extra appts I was supposed to go to monitor that as well. I ended up literally picking and choosing which appts to go to and skipped some, all because of the pressure of missing work to go to health appts.

406

While I was on maternity leave my schedule was changed so I would return to work with three months of back to back inpatient. They told me this two weeks before I returned from maternity leave. There was no need to do this from a scheduling perspective and I believe it was retaliatory.

407

It's a million little things. Being told I can absolutely take time to pump, but then no one ever allowing time for it, and carrying resentment when I do take 15 min to do so. Most of the residents in my program who had kids were able to purchase the Willow, Elvie, or Freemie systems so they never have to stop working to pump. Now that's the expectation, so when I go to the call room to pump, you can tell people are confused/irritated. I had to take my in-training exam, 36 weeks pregnant, in the middle of a week of nights, and then when my predicted pass rate was 89% instead of above 90% (a program-level expectation, not ACGME or ABP), I was labeled "at risk for not passing my boards" (as a PGY2 in a 3 yr program), forced to go on an academic action plan that necessitated me soending $750 to take an online board course, do extra board prep questions, etc, and MOST annoyingly/importantly, was told that it was program policy to not allow any resident who was ever on an action plan to apply for the American Board of Peds waiver to have 4 weeks of my 10 week maternity leave waived. This has the potential to derail my fellowship plans, as instead of only making up 4 weeks, I will have to make up 8. This happened to 2 other residents who are also mothers. I was denied a place to lie down during my week of NICU nights, even when I was in excruciating pain froms sciatica. I was cited as having "pregnancy brain" on a formal evaluation. I have been micromanaged and labeled as "unprofessional," and termination has been threatened.

408

I was told I was unable to store my breast milk in a community freezer (just for residents, attending and Med students).

I have been told I'm shouldn't have another child in residency.

I was "jokingly" asked to come in to work during my maternity leave.

414

Asking if my pregnancy was desired by my program director when I shared my pregnancy with him.

416

At residency graduation, my program director introduced me and said "She wins the award for the most children." Given that my (female) PD had the same number of children I have, and she knew how much I was struggling after the birth of my third in my last year of training, that particularly hurt.

I have also had a few older attendings comment, "wow. Kids and retina" (retina being the most surgical subspecialty within ophthalmology).

424

PD making it difficult to take time off postpartum, claims that he doesn't want anyone away from clinic for >2 consecutive weeks. Each pregnant resident has had to individually fight this by going to GME. When I expressed that I was applying for chief, PD told me a story about a prior resident they wanted for chief but she chose to get pregnant instead. He said this knowing I was getting married soon. Booking prenatal appts has been difficult, it was implied that I need to use vacation days, so I made my own work-arounds to avoid this.

434

Currently a PGY-1 TY resident going into Derm in July 2020. My husband and I are both in the same program. We have a 2.5 year old and a 7 mo old. I have gave birth to my youngest, graduated med school 8 days later, moved to my TY year 4 weeks later, and started intern year within 6 weeks of delivering him. I have since been hit with several postpartum thyroiditis and have had a extremely challenging time even being able to get up each day, not to mind get to work. I have zero female physician advocates at my TY program. My PD has been nice and approachable, and he has been flexible with making schedule changes. However, there were no dedicated lactation rooms, I was pumping in the bathrooms on wards. I have since had to wean because I just couldn't do it anymore. I have had no mental or physical support within my program for all that has been happening. We live away from family during this TY year, which has made it so so difficult. I have had people say that "this is why you shouldn't have children in residency". Waiting until becoming an attending to have children isn't an option for everybody. I would be close to 35 if I had waited that long, and who knows what other health issues may have ensued. I feel extremely alone and isolated this year and dealing with PPT has been the straw to break the camel's back. I wish there was a community of mothers in medical training that could be reached, like a Facebook group. I am part of a PPT support group on Facebook and that is getting me through this horrible time.

441

made to feel that schedule changes - even though planned ahead of time and paid back to fellow residents was unfair to ask for

not having adequate facilities for pumping, or enough breaks in schedule

not having support from fellow residents to cover/swap services for appointments/ ultrasounds

being questioned on the decision to have baby

blatant comments: "don't expect me to cover for you if your kid gets sick"

"oh, you want to have kids, don't apply to these residencies - you'll never make it,"

being made to feel bad while at work for leaving kid in daycare, and simultaneously being made to feel bad about having to leave at a certain time to go pick up my kid,"

"you got an extra month of vacation just because you had a baby,"

"don't complain that you're tired, you chose this" - said to me by a co-resident when I had been up all night feeding baby and then had a long challenging ICU shift after

- the list goes on

449

I was given a bad evaluation on an entire rotation for fainting several times during surgery during my first trimester.

455

Have attendings who actually say hurtful things about NOT being a mother- has happened 4 times in the past year by the same attending- they do not know whether or not I am attempting pregnancy or anything about my personal life/health, but still feel the need to tell me I can work more and harder and don't need free time because I am NOT a mom. I also see my cofellow getting no time to pump as she is running around clinic to pump and is constantly rescheduling her child's pediatrician appointments

462

- emphasized to me that I wouldn't want to prolong my training so I should choose a 6 or 8 week maternity leave

Due to missing call for 12 weeks, rather the extend the amount of time I had, I was put on 24 hour weekend call every single weekend for 8 weeks straight right after returning to work

All sick and vacation taken away for maternity leave so I have no reprieve if child gets sick until next year

465

The largest part that I experienced maternal discrimination is during maternity leave (or lack thereof) after experiencing childbirth. I worked a 9 hour day the day before my induction and completed a 25 hour shift 2 weeks prior to delivery. I was not given empathy that these shifts were hard on my body and during these, I had Braxton hick's contractions the entire night. I was given the opportunity to take time off with my son, but all of my vacation time was taken for my leave. I delivered in August and went back to work at the end of September. Therefore, I did not have a vacation day for 1 year. During this time, myself and son had multiple illness due to him being in daycare. It was a burden on me that I was not given the opportunity to take days off when my infant was sick. During this time, working sick with a sick infant and no opportunity to be given days off caused me to become burnt out. Due to this, I feel that my training did suffer at times and my ability to provide the best care did suffer.

I did experience multiple instances where I was forced to stop pumping due to a code or rapid response being called for fear of being reprimanded

468

I have just felt it has been expressed that it's a bad idea for me to start a family in residency and that it would be too hard and I would t have support or help if I were to.

470

Not a mother or wife an the expectation to have children at this age.

475

My biggest issue has been with comments from attendings and co-residents bashing breastfeeding in general, or saying "it's weird" that I nursed my son >2yrs, or make comments about my needing the call room to pump, or saying I wo8be a good resident because I'm a mom and my "priorities " are at home with my son...I can't be dedicated because it "seems like I always want to be with my family"

479

Although my program has overall been supportive postpartum, I felt pressured to take less maternity leave than I wanted (I.e. everyone was stressed that if I took more, the other fellows would not be able to have the required amounts of clinical time dictated by ACGME) and feel pressured by some providers to minimize pumping time.

485

Attending who verbalized his frustration and ill feelings to me regarding residents who have children during training while I was pregnant. This attending in older, unmarried and without children... not enough time to

Pump!! ... initially given 4 weeks of maternity leave (from a preselected date and not from delivery). Eventually got 6 weeks after some push back.

488

Received a lot of push back when scheduling prenatal appointments. I was measuring small sknrequires a third trimester ultrasound with MFM- was asked to change my appointment to a weekend or after The work day was complete. Most ultrasounds happen 9-5. I was told it would be preferred if I kept my appoints in the evening (which required me to drive an hour to a specific office after clinical duties were complete)

491

While I was in my early months of pregnancy (before I had announced that I was pregnant to my colleagues), a fellow resident and i were discussing a resident in the class above us who had taken maternity leave. She outwardly stated that she "can't believe she would do that to her fellow residents" (implying that her taking time off for maternity leave was an unwelcome burden to the other residents). This creates a terrifying environment for me to announce my own pregnancy.

494

Got 5 days off for paternal leave and it was taken for vacation even though acgme states we are mandated for more.

499

Two attendings - my PD and my PD's wife refuses to let me leave the OR to pump (one after end of case before patient woke up and one while closing w intern - I was just holding a retractor and a scrub tech was present)

501

I don't want to have a baby during residency because there is simply no space to do so. 6 weeks of paid maternity leave? Working like a slave up until my due date? Returning to 80 hour work weeks 6 weeks postpartum? While I'm still at risk of a multitude of postpartum complications? Being treated differently because I'm pregnant or planning to be pregnant or because I have children? My program is women led & does everything to support expecting mothers BUT the system itself discriminated against women so their efforts are basically wasted. America is the only developed country in the world that punishes women for having children.

503

1. My residency program director tried to take my vacation time away and "save it" in case I needed it for sick leave because of my pregnancy. I actually graduated without using all of my PTO because of this.

2. I asked for an accommodation so that instead of working 24 hour call plus 4+ hours of postcall rounding, I would do a night float system, but was told this would not be possible.

3. An ED attending told me on hour 25 or so of a 28 hour call that I should not complain because she doesn't feel sorry for me even though no pity was solicited from this person.

4. I was forced to obtain a doctor's note saying that my postpartum period was not a disability in order to go back to work doing an online home based elective before my full 6-week period was up, which then prevented me from obtaining any paid maternity leave.

518

Had to swap rotations with my residents to ensure I could get time off for delivery. No help from chiefs or PD to make sure schedule accommodated time off for maternity leave. Had a complicated delivery and needed 2 extra weeks to recover (in addition to the 4 I had), co resident pulled to cover demanded my labs and hospital records to confirm I am not lying. I paid back the resident with covering her for the days she had covered me once I returned. Started fellowship when my baby was 2 months. No one seemed to care I needed to pump. When requested to get some time to pump (after 8-10 hours of constantly running around on the floor) I was barely given 10-15 min before I started getting texts and calls as to when I will return. Was told by PD that I should find a mentor who was also a "mom" during her fellowship even though her area of interest did not match mine. Was not offered research projects since I had a child. Was told to consider choosing a career in the area that is light since I had a family even though it was not if my interest.

544

Complete lack of emotional or time off support during a miscarriage and subsequent d&c. Lack of flexibility with hours - environment where face time is important, despite working many hours at home after kids go to sleep and objective productivity compared to peers. On at least 2 occasions when asked (could say bullied) to take on extra projects outside of my personal learning plan and clinical responsibilities and I declined (since my primary projects are busy enough), comments about how I must not have the capacity to take on things because I'm a mother.

551

Went I was talking to my program director about the challenges of breast feeding during long cases or a busy day he told me to "man the f*** up"

552

My program was very supportive but certain attendings in different departments were not. Mainly I faced verbal backlash for "having a family" and needing to pump but only from those certain attendings .

563

I had to stop breastfeeding my baby because of hostile work environment and subsequent lack of pumping breaks. I was an anesthesiology fellow at a children's hospital. I had my daughter in CA3 year. I made it over 7 months in a massive medical center still l pumping and feeding. I lasted less than a month at a children's hospital. Why? Because I was hazed, bullied, and told exactly where I stood as a trainee by the nurse anesthetists who rules the roost there. They did not give breaks to residents and fellows, in favor of each other. They would mark us off on the board as having had breaks without it actually happening. Not only was this terrible and incredibly painful/dangerous for me (I had mastitis previously), it was illegal.

I made sure everyone knew I needed breaks. I told my attendings every night before when discussing the cases, as well as each morning to remind them. I also told the board runner every day, as he was in charge of staff assignments. However, I was at the mercy of the nurse anesthetists. And they did not like trainees. So painfully I had to stop breastfeeding my baby at 8 months because I no longer made hardly any milk. I wanted to make it to a year. By the time my program director found out what had happened (he was out of the country when we started our fellowship), it was far too late.

I shut down and didn't talk to anyone, because what do you say to the people who forced you to stop feeding your baby? That wasn't taken well and I was heavily singled out further by the nurse anesthetists. I was sent to a corporate therapist to learn how to work on the perception everyone had of me.

There's a lot more to the story, like how I was told they didn't have any spots to hire me while there were multiple ads active online for jobs at the hospital and my Male co-fellows were being emailed by the chief asking if they were interested in staying.

There's a lot more to unpack there, but that's the basic story.

None of the nurse anesthetists apologized to me even once.

570

Due to the grueling demands of OBGYN residency I chose an obstetrician with an office in my hospital but still missed prenatal appointments. Required to take full day of vacation to attend appointments for my child now with very little time off remaining after maternity leave.

580

I always knew I wanted to start a family in residency because of my age. I got pregnant half way through my intern year and remember having people give me looks or be frustrated that I was pregnant. I remember having a patient with possible active TB and a senior resident being upset that I decided to not see the patient (For the sake of my baby's health) and after the most senior resident told me I didn't have to go so I would avoid the unnecessary risk (we had a large team). I actually got more discrimination from my OBGYN rotation (unfortunately). My husband is active duty military and lives away from me so it was made a point that taking more time of leave will not be acceptable. I won't be able to do daycare because of the hours of my schedule and demand of my program. I have to have my mom take a leave from work and my husband is retiring from the military earlier. I think it's sad and unfortunate that women aren't more supportive and that when we desire to have kids especially in training it is seen as an avoidable burden. I once attended a nexplanon training where the physician joked that If he was a PD he would automatically make his female physicians have a nexplanon so they don't get pregnant during residency, I was shocked but I know first hand how this is apparent in our medical culture. We have a 600 plus hospital but only 2 lactation rooms, it's crazy.

582

After I had a child in residency, an attending told me he would sneak birth control pills into my morning coffee. Another told me that one pregnancy was acceptable during training, but don't do it again. A co-resident told me it wasnt fair I got to take maternity leave and still graduate on time.

588

Maternity leave not covered financially

595

Currently pregnant with twins, also have a 4-year-old at home. I was initially told about modifications of call schedule to be made during my third trimester in order to minimize fatigue and to decrease then risk of surprise call responsibilities being forced on my co-fellows if I should deliver early. My chiefs and program director refused to sit down to meet with me to discuss these logistics and let me know via email the the original plan devised would not work so I would instead just stay on service until I go into labor. Additionally, my clinic slots remained open for patients until the week after my scheduled induction, despite the original plan to close them 4 weeks prior to that. It took major self advocacy on my part to convince them that this plan was not in anyone's best interest. It has now been changed but only after forcing myself to take on a "squeaky wheel" role.

598

I have had my program director introduce me to another physician as, "Hi, this is ...., she is pushing all the known boundaries of having children during residency!" (Came into residency with a 1 yr old and got pregnant in October of intern year, born at very beginning of second year). My program director meant this as a joke, but I internalized it as guilt.

Had our otherwise very supportive program coordinator ask, "do you have to breastfeed?" When I was explaining how nervous I was to give birth and come back from maternity leave to a busy consult service with no set pumping breaks.

I've also had an attending ask another attending (in front of me and my toddler), "are residents having more children these days or are they just all older than when we ere training?"

604

I feel like I have had a very mild experience of maternal discrimination but I do feel like I have had a hard time carving out time for myself to pump when I'm at work. My program has been wonderful in giving me dedicated time during my own clinics to pump, but when I'm rotating through attendings' clinics it is hard to carve out time to make it happen. As a result of that and the busy-ness of our inpatient service, some days I simply don't have time to pump enough times.

606

Complications during labour made it difficult to return to residency after 6 weeks - made to feel like I might not graduate. Home call policy is so extensive that childcare is prohibitive as you should almost always have someone in standby.

607

My orthopedic residency didn't have a maternity leave policy because I was the first female resident to give birth. I had to research and provide guidelines to set up a policy. I attempted to front load my call towards the beginning of my pregnancy and would not take less call than others. This was not well received. I had difficulty trading. I had an even harder time finding coverage for my service when I was out on maternity leave. I was painted by some coresidents as "dumping." I was not supported by my staff when I had to leave for perinatal appointments, and I had complications that required more than the usual number of appointments.

608

As a surgical resident in a predominantly male field, I was expected to perform at a similar level to male colleagues at 35+ weeks pregnant when this wasn't even remotely physically possible. When I was taken out of work by my OB at 38 weeks for health reasons, this was questioned by a female chief resident because she had been able to work up to her due date the year prior.

613

Even though dozens of women in years before me had been pregnant during residency, I experienced a lot of misinformation (about leave policies, lactation policies) and lack of support from my program (no accommodation of schedule during vulnerable weeks antepartum ie was working nights/27hr shifts at 38 wks; no formal lactation policy and no one helped me find solutions). After myself and a colleague took the initiative to improve systems ourselves things have improved, but it had to come from us (ie doctor moms with arguably the least amount of free time doing unpaid work that the program should do itself).

615

I gave birth with 11 days left of my fellowship. I was pressured by my program director to come back to work 1 week after giving birth. I applied for and took FMLA for 12 weeks and came back to complete the days after that. My program leadership refused to sign off on my paperwork for me to take my board exam. I had to get a lawyer and involve GME to get this resolved. This was a lot of stress on top of trying to finish my fellowship, study for boards, and care for my newborn. It was the most difficult time of my life.

618

Constantly indicating that taking time off (less than even allowed by acgme) is a reason to potentially hold back fellows from graduating on time.

620

I was an intern on nights on hospital medicine with a 5 month old at home. We were getting slammed with admissions and I had just talked with my senior about how we were drowning and about dividing up tasks. I stated that I would see one more admission and then would need to go pump while I worked on notes, and he said "well we all have to choose our priorities."

629

Poor support when returning to work in regards to scheduling and pump breaks, being told I'm "crazy" for having a baby intern year, being told that announcing that I need to pump is too personal , being told that excusing myself from rounds at a designated time so I can pump is not appropriate and "not working out," being told to "pump around clinic patients," etc

632

I feel like my program does a decent job of maternity care and working with me to have a lighter schedule during the first few weeks back, but it is increasingly difficult to have time set apart for kids' appointments and am I made to feel like someone else should take them or take care of them when they're sick. I do not get sick leave so I can't get time off work when kids are sick and it leads to burnout because not only can I not be there for them, but I can't take sick leave for myself.

633

I've been most disappointed with maternity leave expectations and make up. My institution has no policy. I've tried to present policies based on other institutions and accrediting board requirements and have gotten so much push back. So discouraging!

635

I was pregnant as both a resident and fellow. As a resident I had to rearrange basically my whole schedule. My chiefs and PD were very helpful and accommodating. In fellowship, take it I am in a research year when I deliver, I had to move 2 weekends and 2 calls, which I did with no help from higher ups and was rearranged 6 months in advance. I still hear how difficult I made the schedule this year. I feel sad knowing how much I tried to make no inconvenience for anyone especially given when I was a chief resident I accommodated and changed schedules for 10+ residents so I know what it is like to really rearrange a schedule. Moving 2 calls and 2 weekends of coverage seems like nothing to me

636

I was told to go home when I showed up for an inpatient shift at 33 weeks pregnant. I had not missed work or had any pregnancy complications, and was completely taken aback. I asked why I was being sent home when I felt perfectly fine and was ready for my shift. I was told I was making my coresidents uncomfortable because they "didn't know if (I) would make it through my shifts" and that they were sitting at home "unable to sleep" because they were so nervous I'd need to call in some sort of backup. I obviously was livid, spent a full 5 days forced off work until I could get a lawyer involved, who pointed out to the program that this was clear discrimination against a pregnant employee.

When I came back from my maternal leave I found they had used some of my precious sick days to cover that forced leave.

637

I'm expected to give advice on properly caring for a newborn/infant but not given the opportunity to do so for my own babies... having to return to work too soon or take leave without pay. Not given proper time or place to pump. Lost my supply very early after returning to work with my first.

639

When I had gestational diabetes, it was very difficult for me to schedule BPPs and extra appointments requires with this diagnosis during my residency. Additionally, our program appears supportive of time off for maternity leave, but then they make it extremely challenging with many hoops to jump through to complete our special studies month. Additionally, they were constantly emailing me about things that "needed" to be done over my maternity leave regarding clinic and patients that definitely could've waited till after my return. Although I have "blocked clinic time" to pump, I still have walk-Ins added to my schedule when our clinic is full of patients. I also feel pressured/guilt tripped into not having another baby during my residency because "it's not that fair to my peers."

643

Pumped and exclusively fed for 14 months in residency after 5 week "maternity" leave which was 4 weeks of my vacation and a week of sick leave. Told and informed PD and clinic managers of pumping schedule but continuously managed to get the most patients with a full schedule as if I didn't have a pump break bc the lead forgot it fell off every 3 months from my template. I was the only pumping resident at the time (most recent was 4 years prior). Super frustrating.

650

By taking an extended maternity leave, I am bombarded by more call burden upon my return. Instead of easing you back into work, they stack up your calls that you missed while away. Makes you think you are being punished for taking time off. People think you were on vacation or something and therefore you should be ready to take lots of call right away. No one realizes how much work and stress it is to have a baby at home and work full time.

652

During my chief fellow conference, someone would not let me put my pumping part in the fridge because "gross." I was 5 months post partum and pumping every 4 hours. Well what if I was diabetic? Fortunately it was across the street from my office but STILL! My overall department was great in Rheumatology and gave me 3 months maternity leave. My PD has seen patient so I can pump. However, one of my attendings when I was pregnant said oh I better let the pregnant fellow eat so I don't get in trouble. I had already been eating in between patients and kindly told her nothing will stop me

From taking care of myself or my baby.

656

My program was supportive overall with time for pumping, changing when leave time was with baby in NICU, leaving for 30 min to replace NG tube at daycare, etc; however when I inquired about part time residency to have time to go to additional appointments, acgme office said this wasnt possible despite psych board allowing it. In contrast to my department, my coresidents were not supportive, made inappropriate comments, wouldn't trade call, etc. There was significant verbal abuse and bullying around the idea that I was taking 5 weeks off for maternity leave.

657

The most prevalent obstetrical/discrimination I have faced and will face again, is the lack of support, space, and time it takes to pump at work. This creates immense physical and psychological burdens during a already stressful time.

660

Being heavily pregnant and running for chief resident, I know my planned maternity leave heavily weighed into me not being elected, despite being the natural pick.

661

While I would characterize my core faculty as generally very supportive, the overall attitude of the program has been annoyed at best with my audacity to have a child during training. Definitely subject to glares and whispers, suspect I'm missing out on opportunities but can't prove.

662

Senior residents told me I could not get pregnant during training while I was a resident. I was very fearful of the reaction when I did get pregnant. The chief res at the time told me I was selfish

668

During med school was often told not to talk about pumping and that breastfeeding wasn't important. Attendings would make comments like "do whatever you need to do" and my evals were poorer after having baby than beforehand. During residency interviews I was asked about my leave of absence and told that since I had a child I'd be "too busy" to do any research when I asked about research opportunities at a couple of places. I don't know but I suspect that my family had something to do with my match outcome. I had my baby during residency and had to take 3 weeks of vacation as my leave. I took 4 weeks and had to make up the last week. I had wanted to do a research elective after the baby and was told no because I'd be using it as an excuse to stay home. Like everyone else in medicine I worked nights and long hours with no consideration for my high risk pregnancy. Now I'm breastfeeding and my senior has told me that if it's busy I can't go pump (it's always busy) and so I'm struggling to make enough milk. I met our kids pediatrician once while on leave with my youngest because I have never been allowed to take any time off for appointments or when they are sick.

669

While many were supportive, some took the opportunity to let me know that as a mother I could not pay attention to my work because I kept thinking about my family (with no basis or evidence to support such a theory).

670

In continuity clinic, I did not have time to pump one morning. I voiced my stress to my attending that morning who was also the head of the whole IM residency clinic. I was concerned that I was going to have to pump through our noon academic lecture hour. His response: "I guess you'll have to choose what's most important" instead of offering any scheduling solutions. It was his idea to allow any patient to walk in at any time and still be seen. No late show policy. Literally our patients will stroll in 2 hours late for their appointments and we are required to see them. He told me to pick what was more important, my education or pumping.

687

Unpaid maternity leave due to 1st month of chief residency where as if I had delivered in my 4rd year of residency I would have gotten 11 weeks paid.

Asked not to pump in my chief resident office in case a recruitment candidate wanted a snack from the office.

694

- Previously Went through IVF to get pregnant; initially colleagues seemed supportive of expected time off, but when complications occurred (week long hospitalization for ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome), they behaved with resentment of any impact on them;

- during first pregnancy (as a general faculty before fellowship) - colleagues attempted to disregard the policy for decreased work hours in the third trimester (standard Navy policy which applied to me at the time), despite my pregnancy was with twins; tried to keep me on call schedule until 37 weeks despite average age of twin delivery at 35 weeks and much higher complication rate

- when coordinating with cofellows, was told I should take more call than my share for the year to "pay back" the inconvenience to my cofellows for having to rearrange the schedule (despite the fact this was done around 20 week, well in advance).

- everyone from cofellows, to admin, to faculty expressed surprise at my desire to arrange for 12 weeks of maternity leave, emphasizing that it would need to be made up at the end of fellowship, and pressuring me to make a decision as to when I would come back incorrectly citing ACGME standards. Again I pushed back asking about the deadline, only to find out there wasn't a deadline.

- a faculty proposed that I be given reading assignments during my maternity disability leave (which I balked at then delivered prior to this being further explored)

699

Primarily lack of flexibility in scheduling. As a resident I had no option to return "part time." I had to strongly advocate for myself in terms of pump time and space (our outpatient clinic blocked pump breaks in my schedule but on other rotations it fell on me to figure it out and ask to be excused to pump and find out about space). There was rarely ever adequate space to pump. In the hospital there were a handful of pumping rooms, but they were shared among all staff and required long walking distances and did not have computers to be able to chart while pumping. It was difficult to schedule prenatal care visits as there is not policy to allow for these kinds of absences. I was not supposed to bump patient time, but I was also not supposed to miss teaching and didactics. Although on the surface my program and faculty were very "supportive" I did feel like I ran into a lot of obstacles, and did not truly feel supported. There had been may residents that had babies during residency prior to me, so it confused me that I felt like I had to advocate for myself so much and seemed to be reinventing the wheel.

707

I had 2 children during medical school training and one during residency. Despite adequate spaces for pumping, there were many times that I was unable to pump at appropriate intervals and would become engorged or leak. I have had many physicians make negative comments about my having children during medical training. I have had to use a large number of protected education hours to schedule appointments for my children.

708

The fact that a resident can only take 8 weeks of leave in a year without having to pay back time feels as a parent as punishment for having a family during training which is prime fertile years. I have not a single story, just many years of accumulated small comments that sting over the years (first child in medical school). Comments from "So you're sure you want to do ob/gyn? You have a family" to "If you have a baby in residency you have to be ok with coming back being not as good as before, maybe never that good again" (from another resident), to "Residents having babies in training is a terrible thing" (from faculty!)

But fortunately my experience has been overwhelmingly positive and that has been partly due to my vigilance in selecting a program that is family friendly. I have never had an issue with getting time away for prenatal appointments, and my coresidents have been nothing but loving towards my children and myself.

739

My experiences are probably more subtle than many and overall I've mostly been supported. Here are a few examples. I was told on rounds by my attending/PD to "drink more water so you don't go into labor." All the while, I had horrible swelling and what would have been more helpful was sitting rounds. I was also given more extra work than my male co-fellow. While there are many reasons for this, it created an undue burden. Ultimately I developed pre eclampsia and had to go out on bed rest. May have nothing to do with my work circumstances though there is some literature that makes me feel they might be related. Plans for maternity leave were complicated. I am on an NIH grant which seems to make my faculty more anxious. They couldn't recall any previous pregnant trainees and had no idea how to handle my leave.

741

1. Nurse asked me why did I need to have kids? And told me that having my son was very inconvenient timing.

2. Pumping limitations - no designated pumping space. I used a conference room without a lock; I had multiple people walk in on me. Other rotations, I used unoccupied patient's rooms.

3. No designated space to store breast milk.

742

I have been made to feel that I have taken too much time off, and when I request time to for childcare, I feel questioned, despite days off being PTO. There was NO place to pump except the 2 rooms in L&D where I work. There wasn't any place to store the breast milk. I was asked to bring my own cooler to store milk. I had no choice but to stop Breast feeding.

747

Actively discouraged from breastfeeding with my first son by an attending. Only 2 pumping rooms available in the hospital, both on the opposite side of the hospital, making it nearly impossible to incorporate into my work day. Lack of computers in pumping spaces making it difficult to do work simultaneously. Told by a colleague that "having kids is no excuse". And many others, unfortunately. There is much yet to be done to make mothers feel included in the academic environment.

749

Being told to hide the fact that I will be planning to get pregnant during my chief years of residency and during fellowship. Being advised to hide my wedding ring during fellowship interviews. Being told that I'm a "typical" den mom. Being warned that I shouldn't take my full time off for maternity leave because it would prevent me from graduating on time and reduce my learning opportunities.

750

As a currently pumping mother one of my biggest challenges is finding enough time to pump on both inpatient and outpatient rotations. And I've pumped in bizarre places-our lactation specific room doesn't have computers to round on so I don't even use my designated lactation room.

For prenatal care I always had to schedule appointments at the end of my short call days and rush to last visit of the day-or even my days off. I haven't even been able to go to all my kids well child's because of rotation responsibilities and that's rough.

I'm hoping to pursue fellowship (which feels unrealistic in these post partum months) and all my mentors thinks it's crazy that I have young kids. Also taking any extended maternity time which is allowed means I have to graduate late because it's an inflexible system and that would effect fellowship application so I took very little leave with both kids.

I could go on and on but I'm so tired I can't even remember all the examples

755

Extra calls and coverages assigned after coming back from maternity leave as punishment for taking leave

756

I have many examples but I'll just give something as simple as making changes to work schedule without discussing with working mothers regarding how that change will effect their childcare

762

During my residency interviews I was frequently asked about my family status, number of kids and who is taking care of them. I feel it could influence programs decisions about ranking me higher and I felt uncomfortable answering these questions.

771

Lack of support for prenatal care; prevented from attending appointments in time frame needed. Harrassed to hurry through and return from necessary ob appointments. Outright told that service coverage and needs of the service come first/before my pregnancy. Needlessly put into radiation cases and 15 hour cases, despite that others could do those cases.

775

Expressed my need to pump during my clinic morning. Was told I have too many patients and can't take the time to do it.

776

No maternity leave. As an IM third year resident, i had to use me 4 weeks of vacation for the year and two weeks sick leave for a total of 6 weeks. I had an elective induction on the first day of my "vacation" so as to have the most time with my newborn. The next rotation achedule came out and they " forgot" i was on leave. I took two weeks but had to make up the nights i was on call.

778

Unable to get approved time off for (admittedly last minute) IVF appts. Ended up having to delay IVF until post residency

781

Our research director referred to another mothers child as a "baby problem" that prevented her from being a productive researcher

784

No flexibility with call schedules to help balance work and home/childcare needs.

789

I gave birth in June in the last month of my residency two weeks before I graduated and compmeted training. I had matched into a subspecialty fellowship at a different institution in the same city to start July 1 (essentially the day after I completed residency). This match happened long before I gave birth. I gave birth two weeks before residency ended as noted above, yet neither my residency program or fellowship granted me protected maternity leave with benefits. My residency said I was a contract worker and my contract was done (I had moved my vacation to the last 2 weeks of residency) and therefore health insurance and all benefits would end with them. My fellowship said they did not want to start me on maternity leave and said they would change my start date. Therefore, I gave birth, and two weeks later was unemployed with no paid maternity leave, and no health insurance for myself or my baby. Fortunately I was able to go on my husbands insurance but what if I had been single? I went to HR at both programs and made no progress. Protections are not securely in place for mothers in health care training programs.

790

- told if I tried to pump in the open (with Elvie) that was too much and I might "make male attendings blush"

- told it wasn't smart for my career to get pregnant during fellowship (was already pregnant)

- New physician lounge at the hospital has a beautiful dedicated lactation room for staff. I currently use the resident call room (I'm a fellow so this is not my space) which is cleaned about once per month and may or may not have a resident sleeping in it at any time. The new room is also closer to where I work.

Residents and fellows aren't allowed in the lounge and I've now been told I can't have access to the lounge in order to use the lactation room... no other staff lactation room or other private area for me to use.

Offered for me to use one of two public lactation rooms across the hospital.

791

With every maternity leave I have been told that given my graduation delay I would no longer be competitive for first a competitive residency program and next for a competitive fellowship.

795

Pumping was very difficult. The attendings were supportive but not all the time. The co residents were not supportive much. Chief resident extremely unsupportive.

798

I am 31 weeks pregnant. I had an upcoming rotation with a female nephrologist who is faculty at my program. I called her almost one month in advance to let her know and remind her how far along I would be during her rotation and let her know I would have at least two appointments I needed to be at each week due to my high risk pregnancy. Therefore I would just need to be able to get to those and could arrange it around her needs. She immediately told me that she needed a resident who was 100% because she "goes to 100 different places a day" and is very busy. She told me to reschedule with her postpartum and get another resident to cover. When I told her that would be tough as it is currently late in the year she told me that was fine. After rearranging my schedule, One week later I let her know there would be no resident with her during my original month. At this point she changed her mind and stated she wanted me to do the rotation with her and would "take it easy". I again, rearranged my schedule back, which also created issues for another resident. 3 days before the rotation started I was approached by another resident who asked if I minded if he did my nephro rotation because the nephrologist had asked him to take my place then come tell me/talk to me about it. I was caught off guard once again because this attending didn't even tell me she was herself looking for a "replacement" resident to take my place that month and so last minute. I contacted her one last time at which point she confirmed this other resident would be doing the rotation with her and told me to take it easy.

In the end everything worked out for me. I was honestly shocked to experience discrimination by another female who had been through this herself, especially because I was not asking for difficult accommodations. Besides this one experience, my residency program and all faculty have been extremely great and have been wonderful when discussing accommodations and my postpartum needs, as well as mental health.

803

PD and another faculty member did not let me leave a long case (over 4 hours) to pump. In one case the attending and intern were closing fascia, I was retracting, and the scrub tech was not being utilized. I was told no. The other case the patient was closed but had not awaken from anesthesia and I was told no. Neither faculty member had an explanation - ie they had a meeting or somewhere to be and they stayed in the room as well. Just didn't understand when I was visibly leaking through my scrubs and in physical pain.

804

I'm in a male dominated surgical specialty. I have been one of the most productive researchers of all time in my program. But, this is never acknowledged. I have had department chairman say "you can never be a good researcher or good mom" as I'm nearing graduation. Sadly, I truly think he thinks he is trying to be helpful. This has been the most hurtful as he has been a mentor to me and I don't believe that saying at all!!!!!

811

When I get pregnant, the director of the childrens hospital at our program commented that residency wasn't the right time to have babies, that I should do it on my own time. She was a woman with 2 kids of her own.

When I returned from my 2 weeks of maternity leave as a PGY5, the rest of the year my program director frequently reprimanded me for being lazy. He thought one week would be enough. As graduation neared, he threatened to hold me back for taking too much time off, eventhough I had met all my requirements.

I could not even go to my post partum appointment or any of my baby's pediatric appointments because my program director threats.

813

In a small Subspecialty fellowship, the only current fellow. I took 7 weeks paid and then a four week home-based reading elective, which was designed and sanctioned by my parent fellowship program. When I returned, snide comments were made to me and behind my back about me taking the reading elective. For example, when I did not know the answer to an attending's question: "I thought you just did a reading elective."

818

"Your code lows can only be expected to do so much" when I asked for 8 weeks postpartum fellowship start date. I had a baby midJuly and started a fellowship across the country in Sept. By the time I graduated residency June 30th, I was too pregnant to travel to the new state. This also forced us to move cross country with a FTT 5 week old, with boards the Tuesday after we arrived.

"Don't you know what causes that?" Jokingly to me in from of the entire ICU team and EEG techs by a very senior male attending who is a gatekeeper of sorts within the field. I, a bra-burning feminist and Enneagram 8, "took it like a joke" and moved on. Totally inappropriate.

People clearly annoyed when they had to wait on me to pump after telling personal stories during rounds and not finishing within the 9:30-noon window. I arrived early, pumped in the common room reading EEGs in order to make sure all the work got done.

"Oh, you wouldn't want to travel then" when I asked why I wasn't the trainee sent to a national educational conference that we had discussed the prior year. I was assured I could go. I would have been 22 weeks pregnant. 1. I desperately wanted to go. 2. No one asked my opinion before it was decided. 3. I was honestly too pregnant to travel and then on maternity leave the following two years.

820

No maternity leave at all. Only get my four weeks of vacation that I have to use for

Maternity . If I missed time for an ob appointment (or emergency cerclage placement) it was deducted from my personal time too.

821

4 years into surgical training, I was ultimately was forced to leave my integrated plastic surgery position 7.5 months into my pregnancy due to threats and discrimination directed against me and the emotional abuse that was associated with it. I began losing weight and things became completely unbearable. It was the most difficult decision I have ever made but due to all of this I switched to anesthesiology residency and am now almost finished. It was a very hard transition for me initially but everyone has been incredibly supportive in my new program and I am happy with my decision.

823

I had my daughter in my first year of fellowship and while initially it seemed like my program was supportive I slowly began to see how I will need to "make up" for my maternity leave and any time taken off extensively.

I first started noticing this when it came to pre natal appointments. My program is small and I never had coverage while going for these appointments. I needed to answer pages and calls all while getting sonograms or pelvic exams. Having to schedule these appointments around my attendings rounding schedule which led me to having to scramble to change my appointment last minute many times.

When on maternity leave no one really had to cover for me. I used the little elective time I had as a first year fellow and for the rest of the time I just missed a rotation that at time was staffed by 2 fellows but at other times was only staffed by one. However, after returning from maternity leave and even before the delivery there was this expectation that bc I was going to miss these 7 weeks I therefore should work every holiday and present more educational presentations. It was never said explicitly but instead in the form of "so you are going to present/work this weekend right?!"

I honestly was ok with that because at the time, stupidly, I felt like I should pay back as after all I did get extra "time off".

Fast forward to second year. I was surprised to see that my schedule had 6 less weeks of elective and 6 extra weeks of inpatient as I was paying back for my maternity leave... again, no one actually covered for me... so why was I paying back?!

Things got worse later in the year when my male co fellow took about 2 weeks of paternity leave while in the exact same rotation I took mine which he was never asked to pay back.

To make matter even worse, in recent months people stopped showing up to that rotation and used that time as elective time as it can apparently be staffed by one person with no issues. So here I am, short of many months of elective while others just miss the exact same rotation but not asked to pay it back.

Other issues I had when it came to pumping were more on the outpatient portion. While on in patient I just squeezed pumping whenever I could. But while on outpatient particularly during our VA rotation I have encountered a lot of looks and indirect comments every time I said I was going to pump. I was never able to pump every 3 hours which is the recommendation. I was lucky to be able to pump twice during a 10 hour shift.

850

Multiple attendings asking about my motherhood plans and saying that I do not what to get pregnant if I want a fellowship. Or when they commented "I guess you will get pregnant now" shortly after I was married.

865

I went into sever post partum depression

871

My program is certainly one of the better ones. But I had to be extremely proactive to avoid 80 hr work weeks after my baby is born. I met with the chiefs and PD very often, constantly checked my schedule and suggested changes. Even still, I have a 30 hr shift the week of my due date

873

My residency usually has around one to two female residents a year giving birth. I am currently four months pregnant and learning that despite this fact, my residency program has no formal policy regarding maternity leave/coverage. PD looked exasperated when I told him, as though me growing my family was nothing but an inconvenience to him. Also feels very discriminatory that most residents (but oddly not all) that take an adequate maternity leave are simply told there is no way they can graduate on time to continue to fellowship, which feels like blatant favoritism/gender discrimination to me.

879

I had hyperemesis gravidarum in my first and second trimesters while a third year resident. My program tried to tell me if I took more time off from being sick it would take away from my maternity leave once the baby arrives. This was very stressful as I never had time off with my first born either since I had him in medical school and was trying to graduate on time.

882

Went into preterm labor at 35 weeks because of q2 24hr call with grueling back to back OR cases. Then was given shit for going out of work entirely at 5cm dilated in order to keep my fetus in utero. No time to pimp and no where to store the milk that was convenient for someone who has to be available for emergency surgery at a moment's notice.

884

I am lucky to be in an incredibly supportive program with mentors in my planned fellowship field who helped and encouraged me to continue trying to conceive, even if it could have run into my fellowship applications. The discrimination comes from above my program - it is heartbreaking to see my PD try to move my requirements around to make it easier for me, but be bound by antiquated thoughts and unfair practices of our governing board and ACGME.

889

I have hyperemesis gravidarum and have required hospitalization. My program wanted me to take my vacation days prior to me taking my sick days (I have never taken a sick day throughout my three years of residency). I went up the chain of command so this did not occur thank goodness.

I have also had many male attendings roll their eyes when finding out I'm pregnant, some blatantly making remarks about the amount of maternity leave I will be taking (unpaid of course).

898

I always knew my program was malignant but after I got pregnant, I realized just how toxic it was. Unsupportive program, all the way from the program director, to the coordinator, chief residents and even other residents. They stacked difficult rotations at the end for me, without giving me another senior resident to work with. This is after I told them my due date from very early on. Chief resident " accidentally" put me on call the two weeks leading up to my delivery, including the day before my due date. She said to me " if you don't think you can make it, you better find

Coverage. And don't even think about having us calling jeopardy because the jeopardy person has threatened to complain against you if needed" . One particularly toxic attending said to me " I don't know why anyone would get pregnant during residency and went a parasite inside them. Your baby is a parasite because he/she is sucking all your nutrients. Same attending mocked me after I had a miscarriage by saying I looked weak and pale and he thought I would pass out during rounds. Chief resident refused to take me off inpatient service right after my miscarriage. I lost a lot of blood and could barely stand. Made me endure rounds as soon as I came back from my few days off. One attending asked me in the middle of rounds if I was pregnant, even though I had not really told anyone at the time. Program director and coordinator threatened to send me home and not let me come to work if me and another pregnant resident brought a note in from our doctor stating we needed frequent breaks or be allowed to sit once in a while.

905

910

Had normal pregnancy for 4 months, then the baby stopped growing. High risk pregnancy declared by MFM. I asked PD for change in rotation. PD refused. Baby kept getting worse. PCP finally gave my short term disability to leave work. I took 12 weeks off total (8 weeks more than they ever wanted me to take). When I returned 6 weeks after the baby was born (healthy, btw), I was immediately put on academic probation. I was suspended soon after.

919

An attending asked me why I yawned so much. After I explained to him, he still weite in my evaluation thst I need til manage my time so that I get enough sleep

920

Having opportunities taken away from me - couldn't scrub into a surgery because they don't have maternity lead but then assuming I wouldn't want to scrub anyway, etc

927

I'm not a mother yet but I've had senior residents who are mothers and were harassed during rounds by being asked for their estimated dates of delivery and making fun of carrying around huge bellies

928

On a review from a female attending I received "does not meet expectations" for accountability because I "leave the ED too often." Of note, I leave for 20 minutes to pump once per shift and I always have a computer/phone with me to chart/place orders while pumping. Other comments "you're still pumping" when my little isn't even a year old.

"Why can't your husband just stay home with the baby when it's sick?" "You need to get reliable childcare." "You need to spend more time bonding with your coworkers." "Just put the baby in the freezer and come to this night out...she will be there when you get back."

929

I felt that many times when I went to pump I was being a nuisance or unfairly burdening my team. I had an attending in Med school tell me "I understand that you want to pump but I'm not going to disrupt my day for you, you can join us for rounds or not" in a time that made it very clear she disapproved of me missing rounds.

I've heard that coresidents have complained that the mom's in our program do "less work" because they made the choice to have a child.

931

During Step 2 CS a mandatory exam, made to pump in the bathroom that smelled of chemicals prior to test starting. Made to feel ostracized throughout the entire experience. Ie instead of allowing me to use the fridge to store my breast milk instead put out a big bucket of ice on my desk where I had to place my pumped milk. Then threatened that I could not use my pumping bag where I had to complain loudly that my pumping bra is in there and please don't make me put my bra on the table in this already embarrassing situation so they finally agreed to let me keep my bag.

932

I am an intern, during some residency interviews I was asked about maternity leave and if I thought it was fair to the program when I madeno indication that I was going to have kids or not during training which I am still not sure about. I am almost positive that none of my male peers were asked the same question

937

I was pregnant throughout the first half of my 2nd year of residency. I had to change my schedule to make sure I had two ICU night months in prior to maternity leave, leading to me doing the two months with only 1 month in between (normally they are separated by 5-6 months as they are exhausting and difficult months.) I developed low amniotic fluid levels in the last trimester (likely due to me not taking care of myself from the grueling schedule) that required more frequent office visits and testing. Despite my chiefs knowing this and the high likelihood of delivering early, I was made to feel guilty that I couldn't take ICU weekend coverage shifts during the last two weeks of my pregnancy (which they still had me scheduled for.) They had told me that if I didn't do it, a 3rd year would have to do it and to let them know if I don't deliver by my due date so that they could put me on the schedule for the weekend I was due. This was extremely stressful as I did not want to do 13-hour ICU shifts at 40 weeks pregnant. I ended up being admitted at 37 weeks for emergent induction due to oligohydramnios.

938

After a crash c section at 34 weeks, I found I had PTSD when prepping and draping patients in the OR. I was irritable; facing these flashbacks multiple times a day and lack of sleep quickly gave way to depression. Rather than heeding a letter from a psychiatrist with a few work restrictions to help get me back on my feet (eg, 15 min breaks every 6 hours to eat and drink), my program instead put me on remediation for unprofessional behavior related to irritability.

946

I had applied for fellowship at my home program and was widely favored to be selected until I announced I was engaged and getting married a month before my intended fellowship starts. When I didn't match, I met with the program director of that specialty and asked how I could improve my chances of matching next year when I reapply. He said "You should just get married and have kids. Your husband will be very rich, so you don't have to worry about money, you can be an outpatient internist and keep your salary as pocket money". I had gone to this program director for advise on how to advance my career. But instead received guidance on how to be a perfect doting wife.

I found it highly insulting and sexist.

Another fellow in that department had said to other male co-fellows, while I was there during rounds, " I hope none of the female fellows in our program get pregnant during their training"

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